Hebrews 8:12 “For I will be merciful towards their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more”
We all have a power to leave the past behind and totally wipe it out to have new beginnings.
Standing in front of the mirror and removing everything that hid my true self was a step of hope. Behind that mask we saw all those rusty embedded nails that left me normalising abnormal behaviours, chocked my life away, with roots that have plunged deep in my heart. It was a moment that cut me deep with shock, denial, and shame. And if not wary, one can choose to be a runner as our God is never a quick fixer, but the only Truth. Not everyone wants to stand and face the reasons of how they ended up choosing to live under the grave of masking. But rather worthy when you courageously work hard to sprout and try to bloom beautifully even out of that grave.
Jeremiah 30:17 “But I restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the Lord”
Rebuilding a derelict building was a door of trust. I was a building that was ran down by all kinds of storms, neglected, and passer-by labelled me by all types of undesirable names. I felt the intensity of the pain and had to gather the strength and dug to the core of each deep-rooted rusty nail. Scars of my past even became deeper as I was removing the negativity I had housed in my mind. I became angry, and irrationally lack no reason to defend myself and blamed everyone but me. For I had fears and was ashamed to see my broken soul. I was blind and not aware that the wounds of my past that I kept alive were becoming septic under my mask. Quick fixing of the wounds caused confusion and frustration that surfaced negative outlooks, but my God became my Healer.
A PAST BECOMES A STORY
Matthews 6: 12 “and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sins against us”
It is time to heal from all wounds, it is time to truly seek forgiveness and find it in our hearts to completely forgive those who had done us wrong. We can only honestly heal when we are willing to become defenceless to God and let Him be the only Way. Step by step, He will gradually disentangle yourself and leaves nothing unclean in your body, heart, mind, and your soul.
Laying your first stone of forgiveness, is becoming the light (Matthew 5:14-16), where all is lifted off and no longer blocks your way, nothing and no one is pulling you back. The light removes you from darkness of confusion, from dead weights of your past, and from fear of trusting once again.
Masking deceived my insight to think that I was not a grudge holder. I was quick to forgive and quick on seeking forgiveness. It was a tendency of hurry to escape the consequences, but in that drift, I kept on piling past pains to the depth of my heart and did not allow healing to take its journey. I took things to surface value and would continually retell the story to the one who had treated me unfairly, and that was hurting them back. It kept me in the dark, and I failed to recognise some people’s repentant ways, as I was expecting to hear the words, “I am sorry”.
A grudge is a silent slow poison that plants seeds of guilt to who wronged you, but its negative intention is to hurt its holder. Holding a grudge, is keeping the dead weights of past pains that builds up negative feelings. All that negative energy will capture you to have tendencies of acrimony, sinking you to vindictive acts. Thus, there are those who will never surrender until they are certain that people pay for hurting them. They strike back in any way purposely to humiliate those who had done them wrong. Blindly they are unaware that their spiteful actions are walls blocking them to build strong lasting relationships and living in harmony. If not dealt with, that silent cruelty will let you walk with a diminishing light that the devil keeps blowing away, to escalate your anger into more hellish ways.
I had learnt that dwelling in past was not my comfort but the devil, deceiving me to not look at all the good that God had done for me. In order for me to let go, I had to dig my past and observe what I was holding on to. I saw people that had showed remorse but I was blind to acknowledge, I saw people that had moved on with their lives, some had totally forgotten that I had an encounter with them. With no doubt I had to answer my questions: “why I was still living in the past, what was I angry for, and was I aware that I had also hurt others too?”
“It is Mine to avenge, I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.” Deuteronomy 32:35. We will all have our turn of paying for our transgression and no one is immune to such, and it is that moment where we will need to show love to one another. Remember that when one faces the wrath of God and you are given a chance to help, help them. Be bigger than the challenges you faced with anyone, saying “aha” and not forgive, will never heal our wounds but will build us to becoming more resentful. Resentment blocks our blessing because whatever our hearts gives out to the world, it will always come back to us.
ARISE, YOU CAN LIVE AGAIN!
To be created in God’s image and likeness (Genesis 1: 27) is becoming the light (Matthew 5:14-16) and walking in the Light (John 12:35) “For a little while longer the Light is among you. Walk while you have the Light, so that darkness will not overtake you; he who walks in the darkness does not know where he goes.” This clearly expresses that, we were not born with negative outlooks of bitterness, grudge, pride, stubbornness, envy etc. but our journeys of adversities, emotional blindness, the choices we made, led us to lose our identities. We lived under masking unaware that we were burying our true selves. And to anyone going through his/her journey of transformation, hold on against all the trials you will be going through, believe that love wins at the end and trust God when He say “Behold, I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. And I will lay sinews upon you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breadth in you, and you shall live, and you shall know that I am the Lord.” Ezekiel 37: 5-6. It is never late to change our ways, He measures no sins. In His arms we are safe, in His heart we find love, and in His mind; we are at peace.
And you will only find fulfilment when you know that, when you lay your first stone of forgiveness, then healing brings calmness if your rebuilding is grounded on “seeking first the kingdom of God” Matthews 6:33.
May God Bless Us All
“Wounds of the past are healed through the pain that comes with birthing forgiveness light, as it brings joy when you become the light that shines to strengthen others.”