5. WE ARE LIVING IN THE COLORS OF LOVE

Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, “Let the children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these”.

When we are broken, everything standstill, colours fade, and dreams starts to collect dusts, but the ticking hands on the clock keeps turning and never stops.

A child is a high energetic playful light-hearted spirit with a smile that exude good healing energy to those around, they see beauty in everyone. Children are beautiful souls that are full of love, speaks the truth, obeys orders and good listeners that are ready to learn new things all the time. Children are very trusting, whatever they ask for they believe that they will receive it. They live without worry about tomorrow; their minds are at peace, they forgive and hold no grudges, they are very kind, friendly and selfless. Children believe they can do anything and are not ashamed of themselves. They have that innocent spirit of God, touching our hearts leaving us with wonder of how we have lost ourselves.

For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these”. The purpose of rebuilding was to declutter the dead weight of my pasts, to create a place for God to dwell and be in unity with Him: Matthew 22:21…”and give God the things that are God’s”. The past wounds that I kept alive unknowingly, were recurring, giving me the same negative results, building more negative habits that were not easily hidden. This is the moment that was slowly removing me away from God and killing the child qualities in me, flooding my mind with ugly negative words of failure. Hell was a closer place with a loudest voice saying, “impossible, not you, give up, you will never make it.” I was slowly burying myself deeper and deeper to the dark cold lonely pit of masking.

“Let the children come to Me, and do not hinder them”. God is calling you and I, to let go of control, worry, and let Him take a lead of our lives. He wants to bring back the child likeminded qualities that we blindly allowed the challenges we faced, to weaken them. He wants to show us that we are not alone. He wants us to be like Him, He wants to provide for us, He wants us to believe in ourselves, He wants us to feel safe in His arms, He wants to light up our ways. There is nothing so painful than to walk with a distorted mind always keeping “alert” and expecting the worst in everyone. You find yourself heavy with bitterness always ready to defend yourself, stubbornly covering yourself with tons of “keep out” concrete signs, that hides the beautiful character that God blessed you with. I had walked with that heaviness and I had learnt that in as much as I thought I was good at hiding my past, nothing I had, had prepared me for what God was about to do in my life, hence I surrendered and sought Him first. Digging deeper is the toughest daily test I had ever taken. It gradually removes all inflexibilities and strips off the ego. He slowly rebuilt the child qualities in me, daily developing myself and blessing me with amazing wonders of being in the kingdom of heaven.

WE ARE IN ONE SPIRIT

Children always have positive mind that lights up our lives, you find yourself smiling and forgetting all sadness when you are in their presence. They give you that moment of healing clearing your ways that “it is never too late.” John 1:1 mentions that- “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” This is the Word in Genesis 1:26 where God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, after Our likeness” and further describe in Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them.” God is the undying Light full of everlasting love that heals our wounds of the flesh and wounds of the heart. God created us to submit ourselves to Him first, giving Him us, He willingly gives us Him, and that makes us represent Him in each other and in Him. God is our Healer that sees beauty in us all, full of love and speaks nothing but the Truth. He is ready always to teach us new things, He trust Himself and believes we can do all things when we believe in ourselves. He wants us to live without worry for our minds to be at peace. He is forgiving, kind, friendly and holds no grudges.

We become the light selflessly lighting up for others while they light up for us, we become His voice that speaks His Word to each other in many ways. The love, healing, kindness, sympathy, compassion, selflessness, humility your heart gives out to others brightens up their days and gives them hope. And you will receive it back more than you had done to others. Giving out a positive energy and constantly praying for others even in times of sorrows heals those who are not able to pray for themselves. This is the glory of knowing that someone else you do not know is also praying for you, strengthening your heart too (Matthew 6:9 Our Father in heaven…”).

I found love, support, kindness from people I never thought of in times of need, and God was showing me that when I let go of expectations, His great love works and miraculously creates wonders. God is saying to us that “we are not alone, we have Him and we have each other.”

It is time we become the positive beautiful co-creators of harmony and have hope, faith, and trust in God, it is time we become like children and enjoy His kingdom and be co-creators of His beauty and continue living in the colours of love. Let us forgive each other and find healing because God can work on our broken selves. We are the Change Makers breaking off the generational curses of the pasts.

God is calling us,

May God Bless Us All

12. WILDERNESS, A GLASS-HALF-FULL

Matthew 9: 16-17 “No one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch tears away from the garment and a worse tear is made. Neither is new wine put into old wineskins. If it is, the skins burst and the wine is spilled, and the skins are destroyed. But new wine is put into fresh wineskins, and so both are preserved.”  

ALONE IN TRANSITION

When my son was in the second grade, he wanted help on the presentation of a metamorphosis of a butterfly.” Hearing the word metamorphosis left me mentally paralyzed, but knowing my son, he will find it amusing if I would ask him the meaning of the word. I was not going to let him call me cavewoman; besides, I have vague memories of my foundation phase in the class, except for lunch breaks. Thank goodness for civilization, my mobile came in handy for me unnoticed. 

Metamorphosis, a word full of hope.

I want to touch on one phase of the butterfly in its transformational cycle, which was incredibly challenging for me to relate to. Chrysalis, of which to me it meant alone in transition.

“In all God’s creation, humans in the honor of dominating nature, sometimes struggle to trust their own intuition. Nature is created to respond to its transformational cycle, purely reliant on other systems. Our planet earth rotates once in 24 hours to give a full day. Those many days feed the tilting process of the planet earth to evolve to each season, leading to a full year that propels us to age one more year. When the caterpillar reaches the chrysalis phase, it mindfully searches the secure place away from harm to pupate. Inside that cocoon it slowly naturally mutates, trusting and using this moment wisely, shedding the past experiences of being a caterpillar, and striving to be better than yesterday. There is no choice of edible leaves or plants. Whatever it ate during the larva phase, has substantial nutrients to sustain it in its chrysalis period. It has no knowledge and is not worried about how it will turn out to be.”

In as much as I was dissatisfied with my life, I felt defeated and saw no hope in my dreams ever coming through. My life changed when I received a tantalizing foretaste of the life I could live, and I wanted more of it. I gave up my life, I followed Jesus Christ and He took me through the process of my transformation.

Nothing is as easy as it seems or as you hear about it, but nothing is impossible through Christ our Lord: Philippians 4:13

In the past year, I attended a training in Change Management, and I learnt about Elizabeth Kübler- Ross Grief Cycle. I must say, it was very insightful to go deep into those stages of grief trying to find myself, but particularly challenging and embarrassing to relate and accept that I was in distress. Reaching a phase of transitioning alone, became a wrestle that I lost. I found myself bargaining with God, holding on strongly to things, ways, and people He wanted me to let go of. Yes, I wanted a new life but how possible could it be in my age, background, and mistakes I made, etc. I mean my life was unstable, wrecked finances, lifeless relationships, at least I wanted to resuscitate some part of my life on my own.

What an implausible excuse of lies, let me just say it, “I did not believe in myself, and I was afraid”

Do not doubt what you have in your hands, and not once should you talk yourself out of your inheritance: Exodus 4: 2

My first writing, “Masking is a grave”, I wrote about my emotional blindness, my excessive selflessness, and how I struggled to rescue myself. Letting go of control and accepting the cocoon phase enlightened my eyes to understand the effects of my choices. Primarily, the purpose of transitioning alone was to reflect and see the glass half-full even in that cocoon. It was to transition out of the old mindset to be the new optimistic mindful person. Formerly, I was unintelligent and misused my inheritance, negatively perceiving them insufficient for me to initially take steps closing a gap to reach my goals. God led me to my blank canvas (Habakkuk 2:2) with a question of “why was I rejecting and destroying what was given to me?” A changed mindset is immensely powerful. I looked at myself differently, with a lot of self-love. But amazingly God wanted me to look deeply into how I can emotionally relate to the blessings that were in front of me.  Firstly, it was imperative that I begin with the most important gifts we all receive, however the amount. The value of time, and value of resources.

Was I investing towards my goals, what were the returns?

You have an unlimited resource; one talent is enough to open many doors: 1 Samuel 17:49

The wilderness seems dry, deserted, and has no activities, but you never run low on essentials. It is that phase of self-introspection, devising new ways on exploiting your given time and resources, towards reaching your goals. It sheds off the old you. You daily have self-positive affirmation that changes your mind, and you work hard and continue to work until someone comes and change to improve your system (Exodus 18:13-23). It trains you to recognize, appreciate and use wisely the opportunities that comes your way. Be optimistic, allow yourself time to go through all stages of grief and transformation. Learn from your past but mostly this day, this moment is enough on its own. Do not be afraid of working alone, it gives your perspective of knowing yourself, your weaknesses, and your strengths

Metamorphosis, a word full of hope,

Filling the half-full glass is uplifting. Enjoy the journey.

MAY GOD BLESS US ALL

11. RED SEA, WE ARE NOW FREE

Exodus 14: 13 And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will work for you today, For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again.”

There is no time set on how long a person should take to transform from any kind of their past, as we cannot measure the depth of each one scars except our own. Even though the storms attack us internally and leaves the damages in the public display, let that strengthen you to continually rebuild yourself. It is expected that when you start to transform, the forces of negativity will intensely fight you to break down. Sadly, some loses the courage and do not comeback from the fall, while others with tenacity will fight off the devil who will attempt to imprison them into darkness.

FIGHTING INSECURITIES

Abusers are not all physically strong people, but individuals that are intimidated by your positiveness, using manipulative strategies to capture their victims emotionally and mentally. And they do that quietly, and cunningly blinding their victims. They are enemies with the mission to kill your dreams, blocking you from discovering your talents, skills, and capabilities. Even though one would dream of freedom, an abuser becomes that slithering, wicked enemy coercing you to see no future without them. You will live under captivity, submissive and make no decisions of your own. Deviously, the abuser works oblique to overpower your strength so that you can focus on your weaknesses and be dependent on him/her.  

Let us remember that the Israelites were oppressed for 400 years in Egypt (Genesis 15:13), worked as slaves under the command of the Egyptians, building the economy of Egypt (Exodus 1:11). Although the Israelites were physically strong and multiplying (Exodus 1:8), the shrewdness of the Egyptians, however repressed them to be mentally incapacitated to adhere to the guide of Moses. Why?

“For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again.’

When we are free and taking steps to rebuilding ourselves, low self-esteem buries us to believe that we do not deserve anything better. We then see ourselves incapable of successfully managing new positions, because we do not believe that we are leaders. We struggle to spiritually relate to our blessings. Insecurities become this negative feeling chanting in our minds purposely for us to see ourselves not smart enough, and bold enough to handle big roles (Numbers 13:28). We do not think that it is possible for us and even God to patiently work on us.

In our disbelief what do we do?

Urges control us to act foolishly and become ignorant of any advice and feel better off to handle life in our own ways. In our trounce, (Israel defeated in battle Numbers 14: 39-45) we then become angry at our mistakes and judge ourselves harshly. We become these clumsy individuals fearing our tomorrow, muddling today as we are attached to the experiences of yesterday and not committing to any goal (Numbers 16 Korah’s rebellion). We become impatient and anxiously aggravate and challenge our support.

Remember that, after the passing of Joseph, the Israelites were then treated as minors, decisions were made for them, and they never sat in any position of authority. After four hundred years of serving the Egyptians, God was re-establishing Himself and transforming them by renewing their minds. The 40 years journey was to transform them spiritually, to daily transition from the slave mentality to the leadership roles, by developing them to adapt to the new systems (the Ten Commandments Exodus 20: 1-17). They needed to be spiritually strong, emotionally intelligent, and mentally savvy, as they were developing good governance, structures, and laws on how they will manage their Promised Land.

BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE ENOUGH

When you are no longer dragging your hurtful past life, and capable of managing your emotions and mind, you are then confident enough to build good relations. These relations are systems that are daily enlightening you to be leaders that are selfless and thinking of the livelihood of humanity, and nature. So, when we are free from captivity, we then need not be afraid of ourselves. Our big roles and responsibilities may seem heavy and big, and we need to handle them even though we are scared.  The daily process to gradually work on our new roles changes our belief.  When we believe that we were chosen for the purpose, we become giants humble and achieving the goals we never thought we could.  Because we will never be in the presence of our captors again.  

The enemy studies your mind and see the cracks that are not sealed, issues that are leaking not resolved and used them. These issues have negative emotions and feelings. So, when you dwell on those emotions and feelings, you are then recreating your future, because everything you create is manifested first from your mind. The enemy does not want you to move forward in life to grow and make changes in your life. If you can turn all those negative emotions and feelings as your strong points, then you will be able to take advantage of your weaknesses? When you embrace your insecurities as your focal points, closing the ears from the world then you can conquer the past. Because accepting the things you cannot change about yourself and embracing them in the world that is looking for perfection, then your imperfections can successfully take you far. In a way we do not have to try too hard.

We can win to achieve our goals, but when we do not, we can win by finding another way to overcome our adversities. In other words, we are winners regardless.

I BELIEVE I CAN WIN.

MAY GOD BLESS US ALL

10. Love Strengthens Relationships

Proverbs 29:1 “He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing”.

Mirrors are every household essential, commonly used for grooming before anyone leaves the house. They are also used to accentuate the space to make a room appear brighter; feel open and airy.  Mirrors are known for reflecting images of objects within its angle, they do not show things that could be there without them. Like for instance a vehicle, will have side view mirrors that help a driver see images behind, sideways, and outside the drivers’ marginal vision; as well as the rear-view mirror that reflects objects behind the vehicle. The driver ensures they adjusts them to get enough exposure suiting his/her height and seat position. And ensures a good upkeep to averts hurdles on the journey. The cleaner and functional the mirrors are, the clearer the vision of the images are reproduced.  

RELATIONSHIPS

How we emotionally and mentally treat ourselves, is reflected on how we connect with others. The relationships we have with others, be it romantically, business, family, or friends, will mirror our internal energies, whether positive or negative. Negativity often leads to uncertainty of continuing with relationships. Depending on how the individuals feel, some are likely to simply end it, while some will excitedly wake up to hope and reconcile.

Reconciliation means starting over, instilling positive mindset in a person. A positive individual radiates positive energy, that solidify the relations they have with other individuals. The more they give their absolute best in what they do, with love, the more they receive abundant unexpected opportunities. Elevating them to higher steps of growth in all or some areas of their lives. That is why some couples age together until death, Businesses thrive, Families support each other, And friends stand by each other.  Love becomes contagious intently to revive hope in hopelessness.

Relationships are systems, like in business. A success in the business is measured by its intended outcomes. That originate from identified inputs/investments, and the processing that communicates how the investment is used to meet the concrete results. If there is any chaos in the flow, results are likely unacceptable, resulting to deterioration in business cycle, negatively affecting other segments in the Law of Oneness (livelihood of humans, animals, or the environment). Hence some countries get affected by economic decline, rating them negatively in doing business, exposing their weaken governance structures.

LEADERSHIP

Pharaoh the king, governing over all the land of Egypt. Accountable for the wellbeing of all in Egypt and working with his seconds-in-command (wiseman, officers, sorcerers, magicians, taskmasters and foremen). We are shown how the livelihood of humans, animals and land was well managed by Joseph, before and during the famine (Genesis 41:41-56; Genesis 47: 13-25).  And how he reaffirmed that trading during famine, does not decline the economic growth of Egypt. Positive leadership roles were portraited by Pharaoh under the guidance of Joseph, the second in command, enabling other nations to trade well with Egypt.

“I will harden his heart”.

Pharaohs’ successor, the self-impeached king

Leaders has advisors, and honest advisors are mirrors reflecting the truth, to ensure the management of any operation becomes a success. It is possible that those in authority can be blinded by their positions and ignores any advice (Exodus 5:15-16). Additionally, leadership can be weakened when the assistance, are as blind as their masters. Like Pharaoh’s magicians, used their secrete arts to perform miracles with intentions to humiliate, discourage, and dishearten Moses and the Israelites to doubt God.  In their blindness they incited Pharoah’s stubbornness, as he was taking pride by demeaning God. Blindly he never realised that his hardened heart was slowly crippling the business systems negatively impacting on the economy of Egypt. One plague was enough to negatively affect other parts of systems’ framework in the economy.

For instance, “Water turned into blood”. Water is a source of life in the ecosystem that needs to be conserved, to feed on other systems. Fishing industry was crushed (and the fish in the Nile dies, and the Nile stank… Exodus 7:21), and nourishment of humanity was affected (and all the Egyptians dug along the Nile for water to drink, for they could not drink water from the Nile. Exodus 7:24).

IT NEVER ENDS WELL, BUT IT CAN.

Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall”.

Inflexibility is like slowly submerging us into our graves. It slowly builds our egos and infuse our outlooks to bitterness, grudge, or jealousy but quick to build fears, anxiety, and doubts. And we are all not immune or sheltered from Karma to not take its place, as its purpose is to transform us not to harm us. However, our pride blinds us to our hurtful downfall (Exodus 14: 28 “The waters returned and covered the chariots and the horsemen; of all the host of Pharaoh that had followed them into the sea, not one of them remained”).

Could Pharoah, have freely released the Israelites right when negotiations commenced? Was he so hard-headed, that he did not observe the damages he was leaving behind? Could he not have turned back when he saw the Israelites crossing the Red sea. Was that not enough for Pharaoh to surrender and go back home to face the consequences of his choices? Could it be that he realised very late the wreckage he caused in Egypt? Could it be that the loss of his son, shamble of Egypt fuelled so much bitterness, jealousy, and pride to rather self-dethrone in the Red sea than to be judged? Was he that much hurt and saw no hope but to rather die in the Red sea?

I believe that God loves us enough to show us that all those negative behaviours that Pharaoh had, are behaviours that we have and can transform. As you are in motion of moving forward, you can only see of what you leave behind from your side view and your rear-view mirrors. Even what is coming your way from behind to alert you and prepare you on how you can navigate safely. Images from behind will appear as close and clear for you to humble yourself and start to rebuild yourself. Mirrors are those who stand by you, support you and motivate you. They are your truth teller send by God to warn you and show you your mistakes. We fight them and crush them and choose to rather journey with damaged or misplaced mirrors, because they are afraid to kill our pride. It is easy to stick with those who will tell us lies, as they avoid awakening our fiery temper. While we continue exposing others to unsafe conditions causing more damages and destroying relationships.

A pride is a choice we take, we choose to cowardly run away than to redeem ourselves. We choose to rather fake our outlooks than to plead for mercy and unmask. But we can choose to be proud of ourselves when we step into our transformation journey and be the best versions we can be.

It starts with me.

May God Bless Us All

9. PART 2: IT IS NOT ONLY ABOUT US, BUT MOSTLY THEM.

Numbers 14:31 “But your little ones, who you said would become prey, I will bring in, and they shall know the land that you have rejected.”

I have been defied by the crowd of ants invading my property. I am pounded by these creatures and somehow mystified by how they manage to be undefeated. These very tiny beings have intelligent strategies that left a message in my mind. In as much as I try to keep the house clean, and closing their entries, they always find another way. In the early mornings I would be greeted by the marching unified swarms, boldly taking over my kitchen and very determine to fulfil their mission.

CAN WE DO DIFFERENTLY?

Yes, and we can do it all right in all areas of our lives.  My first writing was about “Masking is a grave”, where I had given an image of being emotionally blinded. But now I want to rough through a short story of my late parents, and my youth life.

Both my late parents were born from the struggling families and were brought up in time of segregation. I am not going to dive deep on this as it is not about racial deprivation on good systems of making the world a better place for all. Times were tough for them to further with their schooling. So, they were forced to seek employment. They met and got married and lived a very challenging life. I do not want to share their environment of each ones’ home and relationships, but I can say that “a bad painful past can become a good story”.

This is what I observed. I saw a man that was crying but had no words to express what was troubling him. The father who wanted to do best for his family. Means were enough to offer the best he could, but in his mind it was not meeting his expectations. The pressure of him to have not dealt with his painful past, his failed dreams, adding us (his children and his wife) was too much to bear, resulting to him leaving for some years. While I was still studying him, I looked on my other side. Here is a woman who is hurt and disappointed by his actions, the breadwinner is now hardly available. She had her own share of hurtful past, also not dealt with, and talents that never saw sunlight. She is trying to keep the house warm and be the best mother she could, but she is struggling, her words are many to be understood, but she stayed.

And there was me, in my youth. Here is a young woman imitating what was modeled in front of her eyes. Developing to be her mother’s replica and attracting her father’s version in man. She carries her parent’s sorrows in her mind unknowingly, and is experiencing her own troubles. This young woman is not only struggling in her relationships, but all areas of her life. She is also caught up by the pressures of life, struggling to keep it together, and she ends up living under a mask.

The recess came to an end, it was time to come back home. The house was then filled by voiceless broken people, each one’s mind is in its war zone, hiding their true feelings and emotions, but not for long. No matter how good you think you are at hiding, your hiding place becomes smaller as you normally pile up unresolved issues. It is those past painful wounds that do not get healed. With time it gets extremely septic and ruptures to heat your urges, then the outburst of negativity surfaces.

Moving forward, I joined motherhood 15 years ago…

God gave assurance, showed faithfulness, and made Himself known to the Israelites in Egypt (end of the bad relationship through the plagues), in the Red Sea (the crossing over to the new beginnings), In the wilderness (decluttering and rebuilding). It was all for them to stay on course in their transformation from the old ways, then transition to easily adapt to the new life, by daily developing and positively actioning the new ways of living. They were physically free from oppression but mentally and emotionally chose to remain in captivity. Resistance to change is a foolish choice with results of missing the opportunities of growing your blessings, and we can do differently.

Proverb 22:6 “Train up a child in a way he should go, when he is old, he will not depart from it”.

I lived under masking foolishly and looked like I had it together, conflicted within as I was controlled by urges and blinded by pride to normalise my behaviours. My emotional blindness continually surfaced in my parenting journey. In as much as I was teaching my child good ways of living, I struggled to lead by example. I was saddened to see some repetition of my emotional behaviours from my child. Hypocritically teaching him the good deeds I struggled to present. I was losing a grasp and unaware that I was slowly burying his positive innocent spirit and I needed to bring him back.

Had I not taken steps to transformation, I would be still sadly captured by the old past. That would have kept the wounds of past displeasures alive, and my son would have grown to become a reflection of my past internal turmoil. I needed to change myself first with the purpose of bringing him back whilst still very young. Forgiveness and healing allowed opportunity of starting over. I stepped into the foundation phase of learning, to flex my mind and be willing to learn all of that from the child. I observed the child positive qualities from my son first and embed those qualities back to him.  Learning how to revive my weakened childlike minded qualities from my child (Luke 18: Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it”) empowered me to continually be able to lead him by example and break free from the generational curses of the past.

If we can stop judging ourselves harshly and start loving ourselves, we would be aware that our transformation is not only about us, but mostly to save our children. Our children are the future, tomorrow belongs to them and we need to plant good seeds in them. God wants us to remain undefeated. He wants us to be overcomers of adversities. When we reach barriers, He wants us to always find another way wisely, and sail in our detours boldly and determined. The goal is to be cooperative to phases of transformation and always remember the good God had done (bitter water made sweet, bread from heaven, water from the rock etc), for us to not waiver in our transitional passage.

We are the change makers, making this world a better place for generations to come, and taking the guardianship role positively. Since, it is not only about us but mostly them. And, let us model qualities we would be proud to see our children follow.

Let Us Embrace The Change.

May We All Stay Blessed

8. EXODUS, THE BLANK CANVAS

PART 1: Step Into The Unknown

Numbers 14:11- “And the Lord said to Moses ‘How long will this people despise Me? And how long will they not believe in Me? in spite of all the signs that I have done among them?”

My late mother had different sizes of jigsaw puzzles that she loved to build. When she worked on them, she would be very still, focused and uttering no words. I think that it was her moment of emotional purification. Even though the unforeseen of the day-to-day movements were setting her back, nothing would deter her. Regardless of how long it would take her to build, she had patience upon achieving her expectations. The joy of seeing her face lighting up on her completed work was more fulfilling. The more she challenged herself on assembling difficult pieces, the wiser she would be on planning her day to day.

I was emotionally and mentally immature, baffled with the process of my transformation. I never anticipated the stages I would take to declutter my negative past. The step-by-step disentanglement of those negative outlooks that resulted to some people avoiding my presence; led me to a state of panic. Thinking that God was taking forever. I forcefully rushed to achieve my expectations. The more I strategized on “my better ways” of reaching my expectations, the farther I was drifting from the light (Numbers 14:39-45). Despairingly, I noticed that “my better ways”, were leading me to darkness, and I failed to find pleasure and encouragement to enjoy the journey. I was tortured and captured by same old tedious ways that always left me frustrated with the same old results.

BE PATEINT WITH YOURSELF

God remains unwavering in all our tantrums, He is patient with us, working on us through all the stages of change –Jeremiah 29: 11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Revealing to us the extent danger, that masking was blindly burying us into. And, the journey of spiritual rebuilding has many twists and turns. It is a joy to be given a chance to start over and have new beginnings. Transformation then allows us to slowly let go of control and be entirely depended on God. It strengthens our faith to evolve with changes. You learn detachment to break off your barriers, and it allows you to become vulnerable while living in harmony.

BE IN THE PRESENT WITH YOURSELF

Luke 12: 35 “Stay dressed for action and keep your lamp burning…”

God removes us from our vision board of expectations to journey us somewhere we never thought of (Exodus 34: 10…” I will do marvels, such as have not been created in all the earth or in any nation”). I had stopped having those awed moments of excitement thinking that the last piece of a puzzle had completely answered my questions. He has these unexpected jigsaw puzzle pieces, that will unveil a portion of what your mind and heart is ready for at that time. Your picture is never complete with Him; it keeps on growing and changing. My journey has taught me that, God does not speak in straight lines, and the best is to be in the present moment.

Living in the present teaches us flexibility to adapt to the unexpected and wisely make good choices. Humility sways you to stillness and strengthens your connection with God. When we fail to humble ourselves to God and patiently allow Him to gradually unravels all that is dangerously hidden, lurking to creep out with intentions to taint us.  We then resentfully undermine the present (Numbers 11:4-6). It demeans God comparing Him to the old ways. The old ways that were breaking us, keeping us captive, a place we showed feelings of dissatisfaction that we yearned to be set free. At the end of the day, being rebellious and refuse to connect yourself with this moment, means missing out on all that good God has prepared for you (Numbers 14: 28-35).

The mysteries of the unexpected are much enjoyable when one surrenders to God. I put an end to self-reproach that was slyly disheartening my spirit. And, if I had not remained still, focused, I would have not seen the danger that my rebellion actions were cunningly leading me to. Therefore, if we can accept that the vision board, is for us to live by His Great Commandment (Matthew 22:37-39), we can then become the jigsaw puzzle pieces, that effortlessly allows our detours to strengthen us and fulfil His mission (Psalm 37:23 “The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when He delights in his way.”)

 It is a great joy that we stood firm, and waited for what was passing to pass, for we have been undeniably blessed by what is lasting last. It is TIME FOR HARVEST.

May God Bless Us All

7. Recognising God In Each Other

Haggai 1:4 “Is it time for you yourselves to dwell in your panelled houses while this house lies in ruins?”

Raw diamonds come at a lower value, it takes a willing heart that sees its future in its dirt to clean it, shape it, and polish it. Now that you are appealing and radiant be grateful to who invested their heart, effort, and time to bring your sparkling light reflecting life to admiration. No matter how shiny you become, remember back Home.

Home, a place of comfort, where we cannot wait to rush to after the long day’s responsibilities, one gets that eagerness of running to their comfort zone. But looking at the structure of a house, it is built from small pieces of materials to larger scale of materials. Something so small as a nail plays a significant purpose on binding pieces of materials together, to either keep the roof intact or other elements. A home is moreover expressed as a place of dreams, where there are workers that are tirelessly working to ensure that your dreams come to life. A home is where you get your cheerleaders, emotionally supporting you; timekeepers to remind you that you can still make it; financial assistants to provide resources; and law enforcers guiding you to live by the Laws. I regard a home as who believes in you, and never gives up on you. It can be your family, relatives, the community, friends, or your colleague, that each have their role to play in your life.

This can also signify that, a child is taught at school by a Teacher, trained for sport by the Coach, and preached word of God by a Priest etc. So, each one in their profession additional to parents/guardians, plays a vital role of bringing up just one child.

Remember Your God.

Luke 17: 15 “Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with the loud voice”.

We are not our own mirrors; we need each other to inhibit us from devaluing our blessings. Remembering and being thankful to who played a part in your life, shows gratitude to God, and strengthens the interconnection we have in each other. The unity we have with God expressed that; God undeniably blessed me enough to create a need within me for others to fit in for my journey (Luke 10: 33-34 “But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he sat him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him). These are the people that all played their roles in my life, and some I left them without saying “thank you.” Masking obstructed my insight, it brought me closer to people who intentionally took advantage of my weaknesses. I found myself continually engrossed to supporting them, naively expected to be treated the same. I was regrettably pained when I realized that was how those I selfishly left behind felt, when I was disregarded in times of need (Philippians 2:3 “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.”), because I had forgotten to be thankful to God, I had forgotten Home.

Unity means love God back. Loving God back is loving yourself and loving others. In our blindness God sends us our mirrors to reflect who we are inside 2 Kings 5: 13 “Sir,” he said ‘if the prophet has asked you to do something difficult, you would have done it. Do not be too proud to do this simple thing.’ And we often break them and hurt them as they truly say things, we are embarrassed to hear. It is difficult to hear a truth about yourself and rather worthy to take steps towards transforming your life (Proverbs 13:10 “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”). When you are humble, you are acknowledging that your achievements come from God’s willingness, and the Helpers He sends more than your capabilities.

Returning on investment first free hearted, greatly empowers one to pay it forward. You value your investors enough, to nurture their investment and be fruitful. Whether it is the investment of time, love, kindness, money, loyalty, or caring, and it is making a great change in your life. Continue with the flow of return on investment and paying it forward by investing in others. Positivity becomes contagious, and effectively exhibits the glory of God in us.

May Our Good God Bless Us All

6. KEEP STARTING OVER AGAIN AND AGAIN…”START OVER”

  Ecclesiastes 1:4 “A generation goes, and a generation comes, but the earth remains forever.”

God is always about new beginnings, re-establishing Himself through us all the time. The creation of God naturally evolves in cycles. The earth rotates once in 24hrs and starts over again and again (Ecclesiastes 1:5 “The sun rises, and the sun goes down, and hasten to the place where it rises.”). A new day is always bringing us a new hope to start over and change things for better: Matthew 6:11 “give us this day our daily bread”. In as much as we are blessed with new days and dominion over His creation Genesis 1: 26, we do not have control of the time. Daniel 2: 21 shows us that God is in control, “He changes times and seasons…” God gives us numerous chances after chances to reset our buttons and starts over again, to learn new things, to make changes in our lives by decluttering the heaviness in our minds. All His new beginnings mean, some of the things will have to die, old ways of doing things and sometimes you leave some people behind with intentions and a hope that they will also wake up and run their races. Some relocate or change places of employments. Since He wants us to make space for what He is about to bring out to the world through us and for us all, He allows us to go through transformation.

DETACH AND KEEP MAKING A CHANGE

Genesis 6:8 “But Noah found favour in the eyes of the Lord”.

I struggled hard to let go of things, stubbornly getting choked by old concepts that were not giving me expected results. My wheel of time kept on rotating, while I was becoming suffocated by my past and losing gravity. I lost myself trying to hold on to old concepts and haphazardly was quick with poor judgement about my future. Trying to control the pace of time, dragging the past baggage, and hiding my mistakes, resulted to negative outburst. Masking gives you a temporary control, it builds attachment to the past, hence it is easy to remember past pains and refresh them by reciting them like yesterday’s events. It intentionally blinds you while expanding that “room of disappointment” to make it the loudest voice in our minds. Room of disappointment will always manifest negative realities.  Unmasking and rebuilding helped me to gain strength on detaching myself from my past and brought me closer to God, as He was giving me opportunities on all phases of my transformation to face unresolved issues and deal with them from a changed mind. All phases of a cycle have the beginning and the end, giving you opportunity to deeply reflect on your life before acting on any judgements of your matters. You find yourself maturing with evolvement and becoming lighter as you now are following Jesus Christ: Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to Me, all who labour and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For My yoke is easy, and my burden is light”.

God wants to become the adhesive in our lives, binding us in Truth of His great love, forgiving all our sins (Proverbs 10:12 “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”) and allowing the healing to take its process. Starting over became my part of the journey in all areas of my life, helping me to detach, and daily learn to find balance in my life. It gave me great opportunity of understanding and accepting all my flaws while teaching me to have the positive spirit of cooperating with the movement of the world and the Great Law that God sets for us (Exodus 20:1-17, Matthew 22:36).

It is through losing opportunities, broken relationships, incomplete projects, countless mistakes, losing loved ones, and rejections that is teaching me to be a better version of myself and a better version for myself first. And we need not to be ashamed of starting over again, not to be afraid of trusting again, and not to doubt of loving again.

The stars and the moon shines for the night, then the morning rises with the beautiful sun to take over. It is a blessing to be woken up by God one more day, to see His glory and be given another chance of renewing our vows with Him. The luminous rays of sun shines for the day, giving us yet another chance to work on ourselves and becoming better than yesterday.

How incredible is His abundant love, when God tenderly overlay us with the moon and the stars to recall the day and give it back to Him with gratitude?

“Keep moving forward”.

MAY GOD BLESS US ALL

4. SEEKING FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD

Matthew 6:23 “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you”.


Be as light as a feather and live light-heartedly as the butterfly.
The birds fly beautifully trusting their wings. They eat nutritiously, enough for their bodies and carries no baggage. They fly as high as God designed them and get the best view from up above. The birds are teaching me that “the sky is open.”
There is another wing creature that naturally will capture your eyes when it passes you by. Lately, I find myself daily gazing at them flying in between the trees and as close as my windows. They have this spiritual aura that gives me comfort, hope, faith, and trust. This creature naturally responds to the process of fully living all phases of its transformational cycle. Butterflies are teaching me to “trust the process and keep moving forward”.

YOU ARE HIGHLY FAVOURED

The earth is massive, but it is a tiny speck in the open space of the whole universe. On this small speck there is you and I, highly cherished by God, alive and allowing God to live in us (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Giving Him the place to experience the bodily nature of His creation through us. Giving Him us first to enjoy all the touchable blessings, that He spiritually created while in that process establishing Himself and His kingdom through us.


A kingdom is a place of abundant untouched blessings, a place of peace, a place of everlasting love, a place of tranquillity ruled by our only Father God. There is forgiveness, healing, compassion, grace etc, where undying light radiantly shines kindly. This is a place where nothing is impossible.
Seeking first the kingdom of God is becoming Christ like 1 Corinthians 6:15, living light-heartedly, selflessly, and doing the will of our Father, Matthew 6:10. It is living in harmony whilst living amongst distractions, it is trusting God to supply all your needs. It builds patience, knowledge, and wisdom to accept and understand that Jesus Christ is the Lord.

The frustrations from the dissatisfaction of taking control and coming up with no results, left me no option but surrendering everything to God. Jesus Christ showed me the gap between where I was, and where I desired to be. In between was the gate of my transformation, with a transitional passage that Jesus Christ is daily developing, invigorating my heart, mind, body, and soul for His kingdom. Letting go of control was the most liberating choice I ever made, as I was ready to close my gap to my heart’s desires by unmasking and daily rebuild myself.


LOOK WITHIN YOU, YOU ARE BLESSED
“From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another” John 1:6.

Masking will distort your vision, blindly it led me to undermine my blessings. Truly speaking, I had everything that God saw it fit for me, but I focused on what I wanted. And failed to give all areas of my life an opportunity to blossom. The transitional passage showed me how I was acting like a fool. And some of us we do and have acted like fools, thinking we have everything right under our control. Fools because while we are identifying immaturity in others, God is taking all the opportunity of showing us that we are also immature (Luke 6:42 “How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eyes? You hypocrite, first take out the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother’s eye”) . Fools because we do not want to look like we do not have it together, yet everything slips right between our fingers. Out into the world, we give false impression and dangerously live under validation from the crowd that feeds our egos. But we are deeply crying and bleeding inside. Masking is a short time gap filler of many years longing, that quickly disappears and leaves us wondering if we will ever find happiness. Looking outside leads to selfishness and losing a strength to run towards God and be vulnerable to Him. You will miss a grace of positively looking within as His ways are not your ways, Isaiah 55:8-9.
God lives inside first (Galatians 2:20 “…It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me…”) and radiate His beauty outwardly while shocking you with unexpected blessings and daily allowing you to be “His Representative”. Patiently you will wisely wait while stepping in your journey of self-discovery, daily giving God His praise of what He has blessed you with.

Look at how amazingly God sees us, and still loves us, forgive us, support us and daily calls us to “rise up and walk”

To our mother Tlaleng Siphuka, thank you, breathe life into your light. We love you.

May God Bless Us All

3. Lay Your First Stone of Forgiveness

Hebrews 8:12 “For I will be merciful towards their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more”
We all have a power to leave the past behind and totally wipe it out to have new beginnings.

Standing in front of the mirror and removing everything that hid my true self was a step of hope. Behind that mask we saw all those rusty embedded nails that left me normalising abnormal behaviours, chocked my life away, with roots that have plunged deep in my heart. It was a moment that cut me deep with shock, denial, and shame. And if not wary, one can choose to be a runner as our God is never a quick fixer, but the only Truth. Not everyone wants to stand and face the reasons of how they ended up choosing to live under the grave of masking. But rather worthy when you courageously work hard to sprout and try to bloom beautifully even out of that grave.

Jeremiah 30:17 “But I restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the Lord”

Rebuilding a derelict building was a door of trust. I was a building that was ran down by all kinds of storms, neglected, and passer-by labelled me by all types of undesirable names. I felt the intensity of the pain and had to gather the strength and dug to the core of each deep-rooted rusty nail. Scars of my past even became deeper as I was removing the negativity I had housed in my mind. I became angry, and irrationally lack no reason to defend myself and blamed everyone but me. For I had fears and was ashamed to see my broken soul. I was blind and not aware that the wounds of my past that I kept alive were becoming septic under my mask. Quick fixing of the wounds caused confusion and frustration that surfaced negative outlooks, but my God became my Healer.  

A PAST BECOMES A STORY

Matthews 6: 12 “and forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sins against us”

It is time to heal from all wounds, it is time to truly seek forgiveness and find it in our hearts to completely forgive those who had done us wrong. We can only honestly heal when we are willing to become defenceless to God and let Him be the only Way. Step by step, He will gradually disentangle yourself and leaves nothing unclean in your body, heart, mind, and your soul.
Laying your first stone of forgiveness, is becoming the light (Matthew 5:14-16), where all is lifted off and no longer blocks your way, nothing and no one is pulling you back. The light removes you from darkness of confusion, from dead weights of your past, and from fear of trusting once again.

Masking deceived my insight to think that I was not a grudge holder. I was quick to forgive and quick on seeking forgiveness. It was a tendency of hurry to escape the consequences, but in that drift, I kept on piling past pains to the depth of my heart and did not allow healing to take its journey. I took things to surface value and would continually retell the story to the one who had treated me unfairly, and that was hurting them back. It kept me in the dark, and I failed to recognise some people’s repentant ways, as I was expecting to hear the words, “I am sorry”.

A grudge is a silent slow poison that plants seeds of guilt to who wronged you, but its negative intention is to hurt its holder. Holding a grudge, is keeping the dead weights of past pains that builds up negative feelings. All that negative energy will capture you to have tendencies of acrimony, sinking you to vindictive acts. Thus, there are those who will never surrender until they are certain that people pay for hurting them. They strike back in any way purposely to humiliate those who had done them wrong. Blindly they are unaware that their spiteful actions are walls blocking them to build strong lasting relationships and living in harmony. If not dealt with, that silent cruelty will let you walk with a diminishing light that the devil keeps blowing away, to escalate your anger into more hellish ways.
I had learnt that dwelling in past was not my comfort but the devil, deceiving me to not look at all the good that God had done for me. In order for me to let go, I had to dig my past and observe what I was holding on to. I saw people that had showed remorse but I was blind to acknowledge, I saw people that had moved on with their lives, some had totally forgotten that I had an encounter with them. With no doubt I had to answer my questions: “why I was still living in the past, what was I angry for, and was I aware that I had also hurt others too?”

“It is Mine to avenge, I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.” Deuteronomy 32:35. We will all have our turn of paying for our transgression and no one is immune to such, and it is that moment where we will need to show love to one another. Remember that when one faces the wrath of God and you are given a chance to help, help them. Be bigger than the challenges you faced with anyone, saying “aha” and not forgive, will never heal our wounds but will build us to becoming more resentful. Resentment blocks our blessing because whatever our hearts gives out to the world, it will always come back to us.

ARISE, YOU CAN LIVE AGAIN!
To be created in God’s image and likeness (Genesis 1: 27) is becoming the light (Matthew 5:14-16) and walking in the Light (John 12:35) “For a little while longer the Light is among you. Walk while you have the Light, so that darkness will not overtake you; he who walks in the darkness does not know where he goes.” This clearly expresses that, we were not born with negative outlooks of bitterness, grudge, pride, stubbornness, envy etc. but our journeys of adversities, emotional blindness, the choices we made, led us to lose our identities. We lived under masking unaware that we were burying our true selves. And to anyone going through his/her journey of transformation, hold on against all the trials you will be going through, believe that love wins at the end and trust God when He say “Behold, I will cause breath to enter you, and you shall live. And I will lay sinews upon you, and will cause flesh to come upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breadth in you, and you shall live, and you shall know that I am the Lord.” Ezekiel 37: 5-6. It is never late to change our ways, He measures no sins. In His arms we are safe, in His heart we find love, and in His mind; we are at peace.

And you will only find fulfilment when you know that, when you lay your first stone of forgiveness, then healing brings calmness if your rebuilding is grounded on “seeking first the kingdom of God” Matthews 6:33.

May God Bless Us All

“Wounds of the past are healed through the pain that comes with birthing forgiveness light, as it brings joy when you become the light that shines to strengthen others.”