2. REBUILDING

Isaiah 9:10 “the bricks have fallen down, but we will rebuild with smooth stones; the sycamores have been cut down, but we will replace them with cedars.’’


Once you begin to unmask, you will be removing the emotional blindness, gaining the strength to carry your light. Your light will clear your path directing you to where you should dig out the deep-rooted negative seeds of your past, that will be revealing the true nakedness of your broken soul. Your willpower will fuel life into your light, gradually strengthening you to rebuild your relationship with God, while He raises you into the most incredible dimension.

This was the beginning of my transformation
There is no time set on how long a person should take to transform from any kind of their past, as we cannot measure the depth of each one’s scars except our own. Even though the storms attack us internally and leaves the damages in the public display, let that strengthen you to continually rebuild yourself. It is expected that when you start to transform, the forces of negativity will intensely fight you to break down. Sadly, some loses the courage and do not comeback from the fall, while others with tenacity will fight off the devil who will attempt to imprison them into darkness.

Let us remember that, masking aimed to bury my uniqueness, threw myself into disarray so that I focus on my failures, with intent to produce negative outlooks. What was more was, I was unintentionally normalizing immoral behaviors. And many of us have lived under a mask for an exceptionally long time.

SHOW ME THE GATE TO MY TRANSFORMATION

Matthew 7:13 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who finds it are few.”
God showed me the gate to my transformation, to be someone I had never thought I could be, on the contrary I was truly fearful of a change. I feared letting go of what was familiar. In my past, I settled on self-serving (masking) temporary solution that had returned emptiness and failed to undress deep-rooted problems. I struggled to comfort myself with trusting God and not seeing where I was going. In my mind, being in control was my tool that I hoped would always prepare myself for the unforeseen, but it was distorting my sight.

I was dishearten and had habits of becoming short-sighted with high expectations, while I continued devoting myself to people that rejected me. Rejections built confusion that took over my mind. For a while I wondered if God was certain about me, perhaps He made a mistake about me. In as much as one would want to think differently, by starting to appreciate what is in front of them and change their ways. However, if you do not consistently talk positively to yourself, then it is easy to be drawn into darkness. Amazingly, even in that darkness there was something burning inside telling me that life can be different, but I struggled to understood how I could let go and let God lead.

2 Samuel 6:10 “So, David was not willing to take the ark of the Lord into the City of David. But David took it aside to the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite. And the ark of the Lord remained in the house of Obed Edom the Gittite three months, and the Lord blessed Obed-Edom and all his household.”

I would be insincere to say there was no help. God came to me in many forms, but the mind was not ready to receive with understanding, I was not ready. God worked on me from the distance but too close for my eyes to observe and my ears to receive. God placed me in the center of those that He continued to bless with all my hearts desires, just to provoke me and to get my attention. These are the people that I am close to in my neighborhood, my family, my friends, and my colleagues. Through the darkness of wanting to break free and seeing others receiving their blessings, and my past that I blindly kept hanging alive in my face. I was unaware that I was able to move mountains. I suppose, God was giving me a glimpse of the life I could have and enjoy. In my immaturity of not knowing how to handle blessings, keeping the past alive, and my low self-esteem the devil continued building comfort while I was leaving damages behind with my immoral behaviors.
Frustration started to pervade in me, as I in the past held on tight to my concepts that never had pleasing returns (Haggai 1:6-11 “You have sworn much and harvested little. You eat, but you never have enough, you drink, but you never have your fill. You clothe yourselves, but no one is warm. And he who earns wages does so to put them into a bag with holes”). I felt embarrassed and had pride, stubbornly refusing to cry for help and the devil cunningly used my past against me. When I broke off the discomfort, the forces of negativity pushed harder blowing away and almost killing every part of my life.
It is amidst the inevitable storms and seeing that I was losing the people I love, that left me with no option but to confess that “I did not know what I was doing.” And storms ceased. As painfully and confusing as you will feel, but when you start accepting, you will then see sunshine of hope

BE OPEN MINDED AND LIVE LIGHTHEARTED

The change you want to see in your life will start with how you emotionally see your past. And God will never miss an opportunity to help us rebuild our ruined selves more improved than before. This is the time where one needs to be open minded and gradually dig deep and assess the consequences of the damages. I searched myself deeply on how I was perceived by those I had crossed paths with, and I was ready to be led on rebuilding myself.


Nehemiah 6: 13 ‘’for this purpose he was hired, that I should be afraid and act in this way and sin, and so they could give me a name in order to taunt me.”
Rebuilding is securing your Oneness covering your whole self, it is finding fulfilment with God. And God was ready to work on me and work with me on restoring myself. My willingness enabled God to carry me through the process. God will gradually reveal your truthfulness and strengthen your faith through your transitional passage to carry the mission to fulfilment (Matthew 24:13 “But the one who endures to the end will be saved”). Transitional passage thorns devil to awaken negative forces. Regrettably, the devil sends them to steal your talents, destroy your plans, and kill your dreams. God allows these tests to provoke and push you out harder on building your hunger of breaking off from captivity. You will be reminded of your past, you will be mocked, you will be lured, you will be threatened, and you will be distracted in whatever form with a purpose to discourage you from progressing.
Nehemiah 6:3 “I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and come down to you”?
These moments of intimidation triggered eagerness to daily call on God. Every step you take of transformation, comes with tests that one will need to stand against all the odds. I had learned that the mistakes I made in my steps of transformation; God was the Light showing me hidden negative nails I needed to dig out. Once we realize that rebuilding ourselves is our daily devotion to God, God unquestionably daily grows us to be better people birthing favorableness in us and blessing us in abundance of what we had lost. For every step I took the weight became lighter, my eyes started to see clearer, and it is a daily mission to be a better person.

SEE THE GLORY OF GOD

It is worthy to understand that rebuilding, starts with healing from all your past pains by “Laying Your First Stone of Forgiveness.” Forgiveness is rebuilding the trust from those you had wronged and give opportunity to those who had done you wrong by accepting their repentant ways. It is allowing God to work on you first, strengthening you up to take the knocks from those you had mistreated, and continue giving them opportunity to welcome the changing you. And we all have a power to leave the past behind.
I have now learned that people that bled the most trying to close my wounds are left with deeper scars. And may God continue to bless them, I love you all and I ask for forgiveness.

Haggai 2:3 “Who is left among you who saw this house in its former glory? How do you see it now? Is it not as nothing in your eye.?”
We will no longer be called by our pasts, as we will be called “The One in Christ”(Galatians 3:28) daily driving the mission to fruition for the glory of God to be seen through us all.

May God Bless Us All

“Raw diamonds come at a lower value. It takes a willing heart that sees its value in its dirt to clean it, shape it and polish it. Now that you are appealing and radiant be grateful to the One who invested their heart, effort, and time to bring your sparkling light reflecting life to admiration. No matter how shiny you become, remember back Home.”

1. Masking Is A Grave

Matthews 5:14-16 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven”

We light up the world in diverse ways with a purpose to inspire, heal, motivate, support, care, comfort, protect and guide each other. Our daily living influences how we breathe life to our lights and through each other’s light. The choices we make in life can graciously continue to light up our lights or unbearably weaken it.

This is my journey
A journey that drowned me down to valleys of adversities and lifted me up to triumph. I fell and got up countless time until I could stand still and found myself in God. Amid my storms, God rose me up high to reach my light and showed me the gate to my transformation.
Each person is born with their own uniqueness that makes them stands out from the rest. Identifying your distinctiveness can be a daunting journey. It is a journey where some are fortunate to be taught whilst young on how to identify and nurture their seed; while some will be going through adversities to identify who they truly are. How we choose to emotionally see our journey of adversities, will either strengthen us to build more faith or will blind us to much darkness of agony.

Adversity is hardening. It had compelled some to take good decisions of rebuilding their faith and be resilient, and never let any past failures, mistakes or rejections stands in their way. Regardless of all the odds that comes against them, they strive until they finally succeed. Some likewise positively try to rebuild their faith, however reliving their past emotionally blinds them to feel intimidated, insecure, discouraged, not worthy etc. Blindly, they negatively perceive not seeing success in their journey and incapable of trying once more, then they hide under a mask, and hopelessly choose to be either:

  • Feeble and always looking for easy way and quick on giving up,
  • Conniving and ruthless by going behind peoples’ back to steal what is not theirs,
  • Confused and hide their suffering by becoming excessively selfless or
  • Manipulative with intentions of being pitied.
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The absence of appreciating the outcomes of my attempt in trying to identify my distinctiveness, and failure in accepting the status of my life; led myself to conceal my feelings under a mask. Undesirably I focused on my adversities and past mistakes while masking was weakening my light. For I was far from God; I did not know who God was and became ashamed of opening my heart to God. I blindly allowed the rowdiest negative past of my upbringing, of numerous futile attempts, of my age and my level of education, distort how I perceived things. Masking quietly, was burying myself to darkness. The darkness of suffering in silence caged me to a deep lonely, cold, and narrow grave, while my mind was becoming a war zone of confusion. I was emotionally in the dark and battled to hear God, while unreasonably became excessively selfless trying to be there for everyone, as I struggled to save myself. The devil created comfort out of my discomfort of being ashamed and slyly blindfolded myself to normalize the abnormal behaviors.

So, masking disconnect you from yourself and makes you live two worlds, what you want people to pay attention to and what you are suffering from. It is a darkness where some dive deep and struggle to come back and would resort to kill their pain, mistakes and failures through activities that draws them strongly to becoming addicted. I struggled hard to understand and appreciate what it meant for me to be created in God’s likeness and image: Genesis 1:27 (So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them).


Living under a mask controlled myself to make poor judgement about my life. In as much as I would try to live positively, I blindly allowed my mind to be a secret dwelling of negative seeds of my past deprivations, insecurities, weaknesses, and fears. The lack of confidence led me to be discouraged and I would usually procrastinate or self-sabotage my dreams. My insecurities crushed inclinations of committing to any goals.


The downside of masking was, I was quick to act without thinking things through. In my reasoning I was slowly losing my identity. Masking imprisons one’s mind with intent to produce negative outlooks. You find yourself normalizing the abnormal behaviors insensitively pushing others to accept you as you are. The results will give you name(s) and you cannot hide your stunts of:
• bitterness
• grudge
• dislike
• envy,
• pride,
• anger,
• stubbornness,
• ego,
• co-dependency or
• deflecting etc.
Masking, shadowed my path on finding harmonious way of overcoming my period of unfruitfulness. It is that deep rooted negative growing web, cutting through people’s heart spreading and infecting other parts of our lives. It infused undesirable attitudes that was hurting the people I love. Stubbornness became my tendency of taking control of things, it broke me apart inside, but I had pride and would not admit that I was drowning. Despite that, God will never give up on us and He never gave up on me. God will always provide us with opportunities to correct our wrongs and to remove us from immoral behaviours that can hurt others.

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I blindly masked because I failed spiritually on how I can emotionally relate to my period of want. Due to that I struggle to accept my season of lack. I was unproductive in Religion, Relationships, and Finance. Impulsively keeping my past alive led myself to poor understanding on how I can set my goals. I Impatiently allowed conformity of societal standards drove myself to be disconcerted thinking that I was running out of time, and never gave a chance of my dreams to flourish. Though I understood the Proverbs of Solomon (Proverbs 16: 1) saying “The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord,” I still became critical because I was angry and blindly thought my blessings were not enough.
Outwardly, masking hardened myself from asking, though my heart’s desires were troubling my mind. I suffered by allowing my past stands in my way and became discerning on God’s willingness to bless me. I gradually continued neglecting my light under my mask. In a negative perception of how I saw God, my dreams of living my true self and strengthening up my light seemed unachievable. Because I continued reliving my past disappointments. Reliving the past triggered doubts that manifested negative feelings to life without a challenge. It brought storms that came gushing, and I found myself stifling under my mask. It shattered my heart. The unnecessary pressure we impose on ourselves; the negative perception we have about God, disrupt our thinking. Although God knows our desires, He wants to hear our hearts truthfully. I took a decision to change my mind and surrendered everything and sought God. – Matthew 11:28-30 (Come to Me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light). God wants us to find confidence and courage in trusting Him with all our lives and to trust ourselves in Him.

LET YOUR PAST CHANGE YOUR FUTURE

Surrendering my life, gave me strength to plan my future with a goal of bringing to life my uniqueness, and achieving all areas of my dreams; then identify the undesirable behaviours that had locked out my opportunities. I willingly sought Him first “Matthew 6:33 “But seek first, the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” and He took a lead. Opening my heart to God gave me strength to uncover myself and cleared my eyes. The positive spirit strengthened myself to plead for forgiveness from God first and be grateful; to admit my failures; to identify and remove the negative seeds I had housed in my mind; to see the damages I had done and to be daily taught on how I can rebuild myself.

God is pleased when we directly respond to Him like Solomon said “Give me now wisdom and knowledge…” 2 Chronicles 1:10 God wants to show us how we can control and change our thinking and to focus on how we can rebuild our damaged selves.

God Bless Us All

“A light cannot be caged no matter how emotionally blinded we become. It breaks off the shells we hide behind and measures no deeds of the past. Follow the rays of the light, they are there to direct you to God”